Anonymous asked: I hate myself. Everyday. I'm stupid and weird and ugly, and I take horrible pictures. I'm such a fucking derp
oh, anon. oh, honey. i don’t even know you but i honestly wish i could give you a huge hug right now, and tell you that everything is going to be okay. you’re going to be okay.
i know it doesn’t seem like you are ever going to be okay, or that you will ever be able to look in the mirror and not find something to feel like sobbing over. i know what it’s like to hate yourself. every single day, to feel like your self-loathing is something deep and intrinsic within you - so much that you almost don’t know how to function normally, because you’re so horribly self-conscious of every single thing you do. (every single thing you feel like you do wrong.) and i know how horrific feeling like this can make your life, every single day, and anon, i’m so sorry you’ve got to deal with all this shit.
it’s so hard to stop hating yourself, anon. i can tell you this because it’s what i’m working on, too. i am working on treating myself with respect, and kindness, and humanity. and i want you to think about that, too - you deserve respect and kindness and humanity, you absolutely do. even if you feel so absolutely unworthy of those things - you are worth it. you deserve to be proud of the times you do things you like: when you answer a question right in front of the whole class, or you tell someone a story and they genuinely laugh and enjoy your company, and you feel like you might not be so stupid after all. you have to hang on to that, okay? your self-perception comes and goes with your mood, and with circumstances. you feel gorgeous some days and ugly on others. but the way you honestly are - your personality, your sense of humor, your hair and eyes and hands - remains the same, day in and day out. even if your friend takes a picture of you, and you’re squinting into the light in a weird way, and you look at the photograph and your face is distorted and you think, god, i am horrible - you are not horrible. you are still you. anon, you are the sum of all your finest qualities. you are your analytical reasoning, and your compassion. you are your strong legs and and your uniquely long eyelashes. the times you feel ugly and stupid do not, do not, negate the moments in which you recognize that you are pretty and talented and wanted.
i know i say this all the time, but i say it all the time because it’s true: you have to learn to appreciate yourself in your shining moments, becase you are the only thing that’s gonna get you through the moments when you feel like absolute shit. you have to congratulate yourself when you are kicking ass and looking hot, and you have to try to remember, when you are at your lowest points, that you still are the very same ass-kicking babe you were the other day. you are made up of your finest, your smartest, your most gorgeous moments. consider them victories against your self-image, small battles you have won against your self-loathing, no matter how brief and seemingly ridiculous those moments are. recognize, when you feel good, that you did that. it’s all you, anon. it was always you.
i hope this made a little bit of sense, and that it doesn’t seem like i’m condescending or anything (that’s the last thing i want you to think, oh, god).
and one last thing - i don’t want to act like i’m some kind of expert on the subject of learning to love yourself because i’m not. but i have written things before in this vein, and if you want to read the posts i have linked them ( 1 / 2 / 3 ), in the hopes that maybe you’ll be able to find some grain of truth to them.
good luck, anon. please try not to forget how genuinely worth it you are.